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Hip-hop jurist tosses suit against Eminem

October 21, 2003
BY NANCY A. YOUSSEF
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

Another real Slim Shady just stood up. No, he's not a young man of rap legend who has led a troubled life. He's never been arrested or carried a gun. In fact, he is a she. A veteran of the courtroom and a mother, this Slim Shady is Macomb County Circuit Judge Deborah Servitto, who ruled Friday that a civil case against Eminem should be thrown out.

Her decision came in two forms: as a 14-page brief for the lawyers and as a rap rhyme for the fans of the defendant. Servitto wrote that she penned the rap so that her decision could be read in "a universally understandable format."

The decision came in the case of Deangelo Bailey, who sued Eminem over the lyrics in the song "Brain Damage," which appeared on the rapper's 2001 recording "The Slim Shady Album." In that song, Eminem says Bailey beat him up when they were kids attending Dort Elementary School in Roseville. The lyrics include:

Way before my baby daughter Hailey
I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey
An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes
so everyday he'd shove me in the lockers
One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin
And had me in the position to beat me into submission
He banged my head against the urinal til he broke my nose,
Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me and choked my throat
I tried to plead and tell him, "We shouldn't beef"
But he just wouldn't leave, he kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe
He looked at me and said, "You gonna die honkey!"

Bailey sued, saying he had been slandered. Or, as Servitto understood his case:

Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash
So he's seeking compensation in the form of cash.
Bailey thinks he's entitled to some monetary gain
Because Eminem used his name in vain.

Servitto found that Bailey had not been slandered and tossed out the case. After all, she explained:

The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact
They're an exaggeration of a childish act.
Any reasonable person could clearly see
That the lyrics could only be hyperbole.

The idea for the rap ruling was Servitto's, said Annette Lupo, the judge's secretary. Two aides at the court's law library helped write the lyrics and Servitto signed off on them, Lupo said. The ruling -- that is the rap -- was a hit with the court. Judges, clerks, bailiffs, attorneys and Hollywood wanted to see the song. The judge received calls from cable channels MTV and CNN and the TV program "Celebrity Justice." But the judge is not taking requests. She will not set the lyrics to music. Don't bother asking her to rap on; she won't comment further because there still could be an appeal. Eminem wasn't in court for the ruling, but his attorney, Peter Peacock, said the judge's rap was witty.



Excerpts from Macomb County Circuit Judge Deborah Servitto's rap in Deangelo Bailey v. Marshall Mathers III (Eminem's birth name):

Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash
So he's seeking compensation in the form of cash.
Bailey thinks he's entitled to some monetary gain
Because Eminem used his name in vain.
Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around
Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground.
Eminem contends that his rap is protected
By the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment.
Eminem maintains that the story is true
And that Bailey beat him black and blue.
In the alternative he states that the story is phony
And a reasonable person would think it's baloney.
The court must always balance the rights
Of a defendant and one placed in a false light.
If the plaintiff presents no question of fact
To dismiss is the only acceptable act.
If the language used is anything but pleasin'
It must be highly objectionable to a person of reason.
Even if objectionable and causing offense
Self-help is the first line of defense.
Yet when Bailey actually spoke to the press
what do you think he didn't address?
Those false-light charges that so disturbed
Prompted from Bailey not a single word.
So highly objectionable, it could not be
-- Bailey was happy to hear his name on a CD.
Bailey also admitted he was a bully in youth
Which makes what Marshall said substantial truth.
This doctrine is a defense well known
And renders Bailey's case substantially blown.
The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact
They're an exaggeration of a childish act.
Any reasonable person could clearly see
That the lyrics could only be hyperbole.
It is therefore this court's ultimate position
That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition

__________________
"It's dark. That tune's never left my head. That tune is still going around my head from the first time I heard it. And the thing about those drums: they're still the future. It's not a lost art – people still don't know how to do those drums. It's an unknown thing. It's like the last fucking secret left in music: how you do those drums. I've tried. I've locked myself away and tried. And the thing about garage is: the more you look at it like some tech-boy producer, the less you get it."
~Burial

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